Wedding Day Jitters
It was defiantly a day to
remember. My wedding day. Everyone was rushing around to make sure everything
was perfect. It wasn't at all what I had planed. I was so nervous, there
were people yelling, this wasn't how I wanted it to be. I just kept thinking
I
hope this isn't how it's always going to be.
I was sure I wanted this....I
think. I went through the motions just the same. Pretended nothing was
wrong and I just had cold feet. I hate to admit it but I wasn't really
paying attention to the priest or anything that was going on. I was more
focused on the side exit door.
If I just ran for it maybe
no one would catch me. He could marry someone else. I'm sure he'd rather
do that. I was never much to look at and I can't really do anything. Why
would he even want me!? That's just it! He probably doesn't and I didn't
want to see it until now! Maybe I don't him.
I went out with lots of boys
before..I'm sure that there's still one that would want me. He nudged me
and the priest repeated "do you take this man for richer or for poor, in
sickness and in health, 'till death do you part". Oh my God...'till
DEATH??? I never really thought about it like that.
That's when I turned and
looked in his eyes. I remembered how we met. He must have thought I was
such a bad person. I was so mean to everyone, I cheated on tests and all
sorts of things. Those were fun times though. Running wild, not caring
about a thing. I'm too old for that now though. I have responsibilities.
Even if I didn't who would I run wild with? All my friends are moved away
or married or both, some even have kids.
I always wanted kids. He
said he didn't but I knew he did. Just like how he said he'd never get
married but I knew he would. We didn't talk about that sort of stuff right
away though. It was like he really did just wanna be my friend. No boy
ever really just wanted to be my friend.
He used to always take me
to the movies or just for a walk around the mall. We were both broke but
I would have just gone for the ride there. I always thought of the bus
as so low class and discussing with some fat smelly man pressing up against
me for lack of room but you know with a boy as fine as he was in the fat
mans place...oh damn!
He's still cute but not like
he was then. He's gotten older. It nice though. One time we went to get
ice cream and mine fell, we ended up sharing his. It was messy but so much
fun. Afterwards he licked my face like a hyper little puppy to help me
clean up. I'd never laughed so hard in my life.
All my friends were jealous
of the time I'd been spending with him but I didn't mind. I'd rather go
mini golfing with him then take down street signs any day!
I don't think either of us
actually asked out the other..it was just an understanding that we had.
I never even thought about being mean or bad in anyway when I was with
him. Not even sex and that's something that everyone thinks about all the
time.
One night we were alone together
though. We'd been dating for 2 years, most people just assumed that it
had already happened. We had a barbecue on the beach with some friends
but they all got tired and went home, we were supposed to meet up with
them later for separate sleep-overs. I was 19 that year. It was the first
week of August; I remember because it was warm but there always seemed
to be a breeze.
We watched the sun go down
as we were dancing. He was singing along with the music. It always seemed
to get to me when he did that. We were just kissing, next thing I knew
the waves were washing over us and he was in me. I was so scared, then
I looked in his eyes. It was like I could see how much he loved me. He
had such beautiful fiery eyes, they seemed to hold me until it was over.
I was his. That night I knew we'd be together forever.
Now standing in front of
all of our family and friends, before the eyes of God and the angles in
heaven, by his side once more at a milestone in my life. I started to cry.
I was so scared, looking in his eyes. It was like I could see how much
he loved me. He had such beautiful fiery eyes, they seemed to hold me.
I swallowed hard, said "I do" and smiled. I was his. That moment I knew
we'd be together forever. |
